Crocodiles Eat What?

Ben 2

One of my earliest really funny memories of Ben, was when we were sat on the settee, watching a wildlife programme.

He must have been around 2 and he was a real talker. He was a very early talker, just like I was according to Grandma. So we were chatting about the wildlife, with Ben sat in awe.

When it got to the part about crocodiles, I said “Woah, look at him Ben. He’s huge and looks like a dinosaur.”

Ben is spellbound . . .”Wow, he’s huge.”

So I asked “What do you think crocodiles eat for their tea Ben?”

“Er . . . strawberries.”

I laughed so loud. “Strawberries?! Wow, really?”

“Yep.”

“Cool. And what do you think crocodiles drinks with their strawberries?”

“Coffee.”

He was so sure of himself and my heart melted. I was in the midst of an acute ‘how adorable’ attack, crying with laughter at this point, but trying not to let it get in the way of this fascinating conversation.

It went on a bit longer, with lots more giggles but nothing could top those first two statements.

Isn’t it great that he actually thought that?

I’ve always found that kind of thing really interesting. Their disjointed view of things, as they are only just beginning to learn.

I think you’ll agree when I say that the last two things they ‘get’, are historical time and value.

For instance, Ben and Joe once asked me if dinosaurs were around when I was their age.

“Nope.”

And while playing on their PS1, they asked if I had a PS1 when I was their age. It was the late 60’s when I was their age, so . . .

“Nope.

“Xbox Dad?”

“Nope.”

“What, so you were on the PC playing games?”

“Nope.”

“Watching videos then?”

“Nope.”

“You had Sky TV though Dad, didn’t you?”

“Nope. None of those things had been invented when I was your age.”

“Wow . . . it must have been SO boring Dad.”

I tried explaining that we found other ways to entertain and amuse ourselves, mostly outdoors. And you don’t miss what you’ve never had, but I’m sure they got the impression I lived in some baron wasteland, like in a Mad Max movie. Devoid of all modern luxuries.

They just don’t get ‘time’ until they get older.

And value is the other one.

There’s a Ferrari on a motoring show . . .

“Dad, can we get one of those?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s £135,987 son.”

“So? You work don’t you.”

“Not as a professional footballer son.”

Bless em. They genuinely don’t understand.

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